“People stop engaging in the very activities that brought them together in the first place,” explain therapists Robert Schwarz and Elaine Braff, authors of “We’re No Fun Anymore: Helping Couples Cultivate Joyful Marriages Through the Power of Play.”
Schwarz and Braff suggest that even after your relationship settles into a pattern, it’s essential to maintain a sense of fun to have a successful and lasting relationship.
Get Professional Help. If the distance seems to be growing despite both of your efforts, consider talking to a mental health professional. Couples counselling can help identify underlying problems, help couples rebuild intimacy, and improve empathy and communication.
If you’ve ever been in a relationship, you will agree with me that it’s not always a stable experience. A relationship is a process filled with ups and downs… and downs and ups. But these ups and downs are natural. However, there are extremes to this, and today we’ll look at some of the warning signs you are Growing Apart in your relationship.
Every relationship starts pretty cool. There are lots of sparks and excitement. And this enthusiasm is fueled by the passion between the couple. It’s understandable because, at the initial stages, many things are YET to be discovered; the good, the bad, and the ugly.
When you eventually discover most aspects of the relationship, things might begin to get increasingly boring. That’s when you will notice that your partner snores a lot. Or that she nags, or that he talks too much.
Signs you are Growing Apart. Now, since you can’t possibly escape the thorny part of a relationship, and since the troubles (that can throw your relationship apart) will surely resurface at times, why not look for the signs and detect the danger earlier?
You Hardly Pay Attention. One way most couples display affection is by paying attention to each other. Attentiveness allows you to observe your partner and understand them better. An attentive partner knows when their better half is worried,’ when they’re happy or sad when they are tense or troubled, and even when they’re sick.
This is because such an attentive partner cares enough to show interest in what’s going on with their significant other. With proper attention, it could get to a point where your spouse wouldn’t have to say a word before you know exactly what they want at any given time.
You No Longer Do Favors. Another key sign you’re Growing Apart in your relationship is when you no longer go out of your way to do any favours for your partner, or vice versa. For instance, during the initial stages of the relationship, you can recall how you usually go out of your way to show some kindness to your partner.
No matter how busy you were, you created time for them, no matter how engaged you were at the office, you came back early to do the laundry. Remember, you used to buy your partner gifts – even when you didn’t have much.
Sure, it’s normal for couples to disagree at times. After all, they are two individuals with different backgrounds and experiences. So, opinions are bound to differ from time to time. But then, when you are ALWAYS in disagreement with your “boo” even when it’s not necessary – then something is wrong.
You Prefer Spending Time Away From Them. If you’ve been in a relationship with your partner for quite a while, then you may be familiar with this feeling. At some point, it feels too boring to stay home with your spouse. You just feel this urge to step out and have some fun with friends and family.
The Physical Intimacy Seems To Be Gone. This is often one of the earliest warning signs you are growing apart in your relationship. One of the reasons for any romantic relationship is to satisfy the need for physical intimacy. The level of physical intimacy between partners goes a long way to suggest if they are still close or if they are Growing Apart.
The Emotional Intimacy Is No Longer There. Apart from physical intimacy, another form of intimacy that is crucial between couples is that which is emotionally triggered. Husbands, wives, boyfriends, and girlfriends all need some sort of emotional support from their partners.
A sign you are Growing Apart is that you have Trust Issues. Quick question, does it make any sense to be in a relationship where there is no trust? The fact is, whether it’s a romantic relationship or a business relationship, as long as it has to do with the word relationship, then there must be trust. It’s as simple as that.
Have you ever been in a relationship where you and your partner couldn’t trust each other? How did it feelIt’s not a great feeling – it can leave you feeling like being alone in the middle of the wilderness.
The issue with a lack of trust is that you won’t ever be comfortable with your partner, and neither will your partner be comfortable around you. Both of you will easily clash and fight the synergy will easily be gone.
Another evidence of mistrust is when you feel very disturbed to have your partner go on a trip alone. Or when you don’t feel okay with your partner hanging out with friends. Or even when you are not cool with your partner associating with the opposite sex!
Quotes For Ex-Boyfriend You Still LoveA sign you are Growing Apart is that you No Longer Communicate. Another major sign you are is when there is little or no communication in the relationship. What’s the point of being in a relationship if the couple finds it hard to communicate frequently?
Simply put, where there is no communication, there is no relationship. The only way an issue (between partners) can be resolved is when they create time to talk. Without communication, mountains will always be made out of molehills.
A sign you are growing Apart is that you Have Other “Best Friends”. The BEST best friend you should have is your partner. The moment you start having another best friend who is above your partner, you’re already drifting apart.
It’s not entirely bad to have a best friend other than your partner, but think about it. You should be much closer to your lover than anybody else! This is the one person who should know everything about you, flaws and all.
Your partner should be your go-tell person. They should be your gossip mate. And you shouldn’t hide things from them, neither should they feel the need to hide things from you. If you are uncomfortable with opening up to your partner, especially when it involves secrets, it means you and your partner are not close. And it’s a bad sign that could mean that you are Growing Apart.
Recognising signs of growing apart in relationships. They haven’t healed from a past/recent relationship. If you’re dating someone who recently got out of a relationship, notice if they have properly healed from it. This is especially important if sexual immorality was committed.
Having time in between relationships to heal is a good way of knowing whether they truly love you or if they are using you as they go through the stages of loneliness and withdrawal from the previous relationship.
Recognising signs of growing apart in relationships tends that Emotional separation is hard after a breakup. The withdrawals come, and waves of loneliness hit. If you allow them to heal properly, it will provide insurance for your heart.
Body talk. You might be working hard to ignore the problem but your body won’t lie. It’s an annoying fact of being human that your body knows what’s going on often before the rest of you is ready to wise up.
Are you having more than your usual share of headaches, muscle aches, and backaches? Has your appetite changed? Is your sleep disturbed? They can all be signs that you’re off balance, and not just because of a dodgy pair of heels. What’s going on?
List it. You make two lists: ‘Reasons to Stay’ and ‘Reasons to Leave’. When the ‘Reasons to Stay’ list ends up longer you’re disappointed until you quickly decide that ‘our eyes aren’t the same colour’ is a completely legit reason to leave.
Recognising signs of growing apart in relationships tends that You Stop Having Sex. It’s not a good sign if you and your partner aren’t spending time together in the bedroom.
“Some couples find other forms of intimacy that can replace actual sex,” says psychoanalyst Dr Claudia Luiz over email. “But if there is no sex, no affection, no nurturing, and no intimacy, the relationship will not last.”
You Spend More Time Apart Than Together. It’s not a good sign if you and your partner aren’t spending time together in the bedroom. “Some couples find other forms of intimacy that can replace actual sex,” says psychoanalyst Dr Claudia Luiz over email. “But if there is no sex, no affection, no nurturing, and no intimacy, the relationship will not last.”
Recognising signs of growing apart in relationships tends that You Spend More Time Apart Than Together. “If you notice you’re spending more and more time in separate corners of the house rather than together, this can be a signal that you may be at an impasse with each other,” says relationship psychotherapist Dr Fran Walfish over email.
You Don’t Do Anything New. If you come home, watch TV, go to sleep, and repeat, you’re relationship might be stuck in a rut. No one’s saying you have to go out and be daredevils, but research shows that couples who try new things together are happier together, according to a study from Stony Brook University.